Thursday, 18 August 2011

Jog on...

Do women really want to add to the infinite list of stupid stories and one-liners that already exist in our “honour”?

I swear, the next time I see a woman thumb a lift from a sodding bus WHICH by the way is ALREADY STOPPING (the giveaway being that little flashing amber light – yes, the sodding INDICATOR), I will take the palm of my hand and strike her with force on the back of the head without any fear that she might actually get struck by the bus.

I would love to see a bus driver refuse these women entry onto the bus or better still, just keep on driving while mouthing to her “serves you right, you f**king idiot”. 

This gets on my tits as much as those on the underground – again, women – who are so desperate to make that tube that they are willing to lose their breasts or (for those without breasts) their handbags to the tube doors!  THE NEXT ONE WILL BE HERE IN 2 MINUTES!!!  Seriously, how much further on in their journey do they expect to be by insisting they get on that train? Certainly not 2 minutes ahead, no, that’s lost as soon as the fat wench in front of you decides to take half an hour to figure out whether she has to disembark here and waddles slowly to the doors, by which point the train has already moved on from your destination and those 2 minutes are certainly lost when the blind man leading the mobs off the carriage at your destination drops his white stick through the gap between carriage and platform.  The only way you will keep that 2 minute advantage is if you carry merrily on your way (or as upbeat as you can be on the underground) and not help said blind man.

Shame on you.