Tuesday, 6 July 2010


I don't understand men who have big feet (I'm talking KingKong style here)  and insist on following the Summer 2010 trend of wearing espadrilles.  I was cruising on the Northern Line, I was sitting down and the offender was standing up, and the tube carriage was like a sardine can that had been ridiculously over-packed.  I had two options. Neither welcomed, but forced apon me nevertheless. 

1: Staring at backsides
2: Large pair of mens feet squeezed into a pair of red espadrilles

If you are familiar with this type of shoe, you will know that the loose canvas material sits nicely on and around your foot.  People free to purchase such a shoe will be men that have nicely formed size feet and women (this would NOT apply to transvestites - they would have to adhere to the rules for men).  This man had gorilla feet and every toe was prominent, right down to the nailbed because the canvas was so tight on his foot. 

I had been reaquainted with the human emotion that is "Repulsion"...

I found this sight more offputting than the image of an ugly man and every bit of his manhood outlined by the material of illfitting speedos... Close up...

At first I thought the reason for him looking so stupid in the espadrilles was because of the intense heat on the underground and this perhaps caused his feet to swell as if inflated by air.  But no.  I saw the bone width of his foot, and they were genuinely just ridiculously mahoosive feet.  Just buldging.  Ooooh, doesn't that word just give you the heebyjeebies?  Now you will know how I felt.

I think because he seemed like a poser and was all blinged up* that I thought it looked all the more 'greasy'. 

If I see him again, wearing them again, I will feel compelled to tell him to put them away.  There are kids on-board.

*please refer to urban dictionary